Three newlywed Scotsmen were at the pub talking about how they were kings o' their hooses.
Big Larry, who married an American lass, bragged he told his new wife, "You will do the dishes and cleen the hoos every day!" He told his pals, "it took a couple of days, but by the third day, "Ah came hame tae a spotless hoos."
Wullie, who married an Australian lass, bragged he had ordered his wife to not only clean the hoos and the dishes but, "Ah telt her tae huv a braw big supper on the table each night when ah git hame fae work!" Wullie said she refused the first day, but by the third day he came hame to a spotless hoos, clean dishes, and great steaming supper on the table.
Finally, Wee Jock, who married a Scottish lass, bragged he commanded his new wife that her duty was, "tae keep the hoos clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done, and hot meals on the table every night!" Wee Jock told his pals that the first day he didn't see anything, nor on the second day, but finally, on the third day most of the swelling had gone down so that he could see oot his left eye enough tae fix himself a sandwich, load the dishwasher, and call someone tae mow the lawn.
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